Where do I fit in?

So today, I am three weeks clean *mini cheer*. For those of you who read this, that means that I have managed to refrain from cutting for the past twenty one days.

During my English lesson today, I found myself wondering something - were exactly do I fit in?
I mostly thought about my friendship groups (I will not be ashamed of naming people, as nobody read's this anyway, thank goodness) - with my friends, Natasha and Beth go together, Jenny and her friend Elise, Curtis and Charlotte, Ilze and Rachel, Shannon and her friend Lauren, Leah and Bryony.. who do I go with? Even when I used to have Rowena, it was still never 'Connie and Rowena - best friends', it was Rachel and Rowena. I knew that then, and I know that I still don't have a place now.

I won't deny that I'm not a good friend. I'm clingy, miserable, I never want to go places or leave the house.. I don't like socializing either, yet I hate being alone when in school or in public. I don't buy my friends presents for their birthdays or Christmas, and I lie a lot. Last time I bought a friend a present, it was for Rowena, therefore I can now use some shitty excuse, like 'everyone I buy presents for leaveeeeessss meeeeeeee'.

I don't know. Something like that.

Anyway. Not only that, but where do I fit in when it comes to crowds? I'm anything but mainstream. I'm not into the same things as my friends. Am I in the otaku crowd because I watch anime? Am I in the depressed kids crowd because I cut? Am I in the geek crowd because I collect figurines and watch Lord of the Rings? Am I in the queer crowd because I'm bi? Am I in the smart kids crowd because I'm getting A's in English? Am I in the stupid kids crowd because I'm getting E's in Maths?

*Sigh*. I don't know anymore.